Day 9 & 10...Good & Bad!!

10:14pm

The good day was today! Had a GREAT day! I thought I was done with the coffee, but I had a cup this morning. (Actually, it was 3! Ha, ha!) I don't think my body will handle it as well tomorrow!! I was REALLY jacked up on the caffeine! I thoroughly enjoyed....kind of! Actually, I think I would have been slightly more productive if I hadn't had the coffee, but, god damn it, I know when I'm done this time, I SERIOUSLY DONE!! SERIOUSLY!! I've had enough coffee in my lifetime to know that this addict...is addicted to it! I seriously can't believe I thought I could stop last February after having "just one cup"--because I was on "vacation"! Too funny! Not really! I love the aroma, I love the scene, and really, really love the buzz!! Whatever...enough about coffee!

We went to a going away event for a family who's moving out of the area this evening. Lots & lots of food and drink! I had plenty of green juice today as well as lots of lemon water too. It was really great to be PRESENT with the folks I got to interact with! I can't express how amazing it felt to really be there in the moment with everyone. I felt more handsome and slender. Not that that means really means anything except that I was generating positive energy and felt like I was able to share that in the most subtle of ways! (Does that make sense?)

My wife happened to read an email reply from a friend of my intention to go 90 days on my juice fast. I knew she'd react the way that she did when she found out and this is the reason I haven't really shared with her my real goal, initially. I think she just thought I was fasting "again". She's like, "that's like a whole a third of a year!!" I tried to down play it by telling her that she was wrong and that it was only one quarter of a year. I guess when you put it in that context it really is a long time. I did not go into the context of looking at it as your life span.

I've got lots to share with her regarding my goals and life direction! It has to be the right time and place. I can tell that this is going to be a life changing fast/feast for me! It has to be! I'm at a critical turning point in my life! So many life decisions to make are coming up for me and my family. It's really quite uncomfortable at times when I think about everything. I'll address a lot of this stuff as I go here, cause it feels good to get it out! For starters, I was laid off from my tech job in November and the prospects of finding a new job in the same field are discouraging, thus far. We are running out of money at a rapid pace. I applied for a mortgage modification program today to get our payments reduced! Anyway...being unemployed for the first time ever is kind of an ego buster, to put it lightly! I've been trying to figure out my "life" passion/direction for some time and I think I've figured it out! Kind of....more on that later! I'm now getting sleepy and need to retire for the night.