Yes indeed! I'm back! This time I feel like it's for good! OMG! I'm such a loser, fat, fucking fuck-up! JK..LOL...Not really! This is how I sometimes think of myself, but I truly do love myself and want the best for me and my family! I have a fucking dis-order. I actually have several fucking disorders that I'm unable to control with pure will power. I've tried. GOD seriously knows that I've tried so many different techniques and nothing has really worked for me! I take that back. The one tried and true, for me, are the 12 steps of AA, NA, OA and MA! I'm a fucking addict to so many things, I've been working on trying to figure out just what it is that I'm trying to cover up or numb out to. I haven't smoked any weed this year. Although, I've come close to entertaining the idea, I just haven't made the time to partake in that adventure. I know how the tape plays out. I've just been dabbling in a little alcohol and lots of food! Food that I know is bad for me. It really pisses me off that I have all this knowledge about health and nutrition that I still abuse the junk food processed really bad stuff! Anyhow...I'm over that. I've been gluten free for 3 full days now. I've been sober from alcohol since September 20, 2014. I'm done! I'm so done! I'm 47 years old and I've hated the trajectory I've been on the last several years. It's time for me to make a change to get me back on the path to a happy and joyous life. I miss writing. My goal is to start writing again to document my life in a not so public forum, such as Facebook. I will try and write about my diet, sobriety, spirituality, aches and pains. I was recently diagnosed as pre-diabetic, which really pisses me off! Err...motivates me to get that under control. Anyhow...enough out of me for now.
I did get to Bikram Yoga today.
I have an auto-immune flare up on my right side of my foot. On a scale of 1-10, it's a 6-7 to touch. It's been bothering me for 3 days now. I just took 4 advil to hopefully reduce the pain so I can get out of bed in the morning and go to bootcamp!
Namaste
Showing posts with label OA foodaddict grateful abstinent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OA foodaddict grateful abstinent. Show all posts
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Just for Today
Just for today, I will not drink coffee or any caffeinated beverages! I need to take a break from this addictive substance! My soul is screaming that she's ready to move past this addiction! It is HUGE for me!
Just for today, I will not eat any gluten. This is a food that I absolutely need to steer clear of! This is another big. I recently went off all gluten for almost 3 weeks! It was awesome! I shed some poundage! I felt really really good! It took almost 1.5 weeks before the cravings subsided! I can't recall the exact food item that had gluten in it.....wait! I do remember! It was a fucking slice of pizza! I actually regretted making that decision to eat that pizza! I skipped my AA meeting to ingest gluten! Kind of crazy! It actually triggered the cravings again and I've been struggling to quit again ever since. It's been about 5-6 weeks now! I've gained the weight back and I have reached the uncomfortable threshold that will hopefully give me the strength and courage to give this abstinent thing another try!
Gluten and coffee have to be my abstinent foods!
I want to start writing again! Just for today I will blog about what's going on in my life! I have lots to write about! I was just thinking the other day about journaling and how it's kind of cool to document thoughts and ideas as well as what's happening today. That I have had so many great ideas and experiences that I should have written down. I rarely go back and re-read my posts. I know I should....but when I do I always enjoy and appreciate the act of doing it!
I love my family! I love my wife! I love my daughters! I want to write to them and also write about our lives...uhh....I'm not really sure what i mean! I think I'll just write! Maybe I'll get better at it and have more cohesive ideas that tell a good story!
Food intake today! It was not good overall! I started the day with very good intentions! I've woken up every morning for the last 1.5 weeks telling myself that I will not have that morning cup of joe!! Every day, I've had at least 2-4 cups of very strong coffee! It is the catalyst that allows me to eat foods that i absolutely do not want to eat! It really is crazy thinking and behavior! It's addictive! I need OA or CA or some fucking 12 step program! It really fucks with my head!! Anyhow....tomorrow will be different! I am sick and tired of eating shitty foods and drinking coffee! I hate that I'm an addict and that I have little control over my will power to abstain! I will choose to call on my GOD for strength in the morning! I will also use the power of this blog to document my progress! I do have some life goals that I would like to achieve and I know that coffee and food are a huge obstacle!
I am now getting tired and will stop writing! I will be back tomorrow to write!
Just for today! I'm done...
Just for today, I will not eat any gluten. This is a food that I absolutely need to steer clear of! This is another big. I recently went off all gluten for almost 3 weeks! It was awesome! I shed some poundage! I felt really really good! It took almost 1.5 weeks before the cravings subsided! I can't recall the exact food item that had gluten in it.....wait! I do remember! It was a fucking slice of pizza! I actually regretted making that decision to eat that pizza! I skipped my AA meeting to ingest gluten! Kind of crazy! It actually triggered the cravings again and I've been struggling to quit again ever since. It's been about 5-6 weeks now! I've gained the weight back and I have reached the uncomfortable threshold that will hopefully give me the strength and courage to give this abstinent thing another try!
Gluten and coffee have to be my abstinent foods!
I want to start writing again! Just for today I will blog about what's going on in my life! I have lots to write about! I was just thinking the other day about journaling and how it's kind of cool to document thoughts and ideas as well as what's happening today. That I have had so many great ideas and experiences that I should have written down. I rarely go back and re-read my posts. I know I should....but when I do I always enjoy and appreciate the act of doing it!
I love my family! I love my wife! I love my daughters! I want to write to them and also write about our lives...uhh....I'm not really sure what i mean! I think I'll just write! Maybe I'll get better at it and have more cohesive ideas that tell a good story!
Food intake today! It was not good overall! I started the day with very good intentions! I've woken up every morning for the last 1.5 weeks telling myself that I will not have that morning cup of joe!! Every day, I've had at least 2-4 cups of very strong coffee! It is the catalyst that allows me to eat foods that i absolutely do not want to eat! It really is crazy thinking and behavior! It's addictive! I need OA or CA or some fucking 12 step program! It really fucks with my head!! Anyhow....tomorrow will be different! I am sick and tired of eating shitty foods and drinking coffee! I hate that I'm an addict and that I have little control over my will power to abstain! I will choose to call on my GOD for strength in the morning! I will also use the power of this blog to document my progress! I do have some life goals that I would like to achieve and I know that coffee and food are a huge obstacle!
I am now getting tired and will stop writing! I will be back tomorrow to write!
Just for today! I'm done...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Abstinent Day 4
Funny to read my previous post's entry. "Addictive eating no more"
The good news is that I keep trying to stay abstinent from refined flour, processed sugar, chips, and caffeine! Yes I'm at it again and maybe, just maybe, I will not regress. I'm so tired of my past eating habits. I'm so ready to move forward from my unhealthy ways.
I'm up to 195lbs, the last time I weighed myself at least. I could have crept up a pound or two. OMG, 198 oh my! I never thought I'd be back in this neighborhood, but alas, here I am! I've been waiting to post until I had a few days under my belt. I didn't want any one day false starts. Like I've been doing for the past freaking year! "Today's the day I start abstaining! For fuckin sure this time!" Shea right!
Feels good to write again. Tonight was my wife's christmas party and I actually ate sensibly! What a freaking concept! Thank you God for giving me the strength to not share that lava cake with my wife! I kept looking at it! Debating! I didn't give it TOO much thought however! Thank god! I abstained and I'm thankful! I am just a little hungry right now, which is why I'm writing! I will most likely have some fruit. Even though it's 11:30pm and I could easily go to bed. I'm most likely going to have maybe a banana and some a bite or two of the raw chocolate treat I've paid $8 for from whole foods! Whatever! It is a serious treat for me! I just need to figure out how to make them myself. (All in good time!)
Keeping it real & grateful!
The good news is that I keep trying to stay abstinent from refined flour, processed sugar, chips, and caffeine! Yes I'm at it again and maybe, just maybe, I will not regress. I'm so tired of my past eating habits. I'm so ready to move forward from my unhealthy ways.
I'm up to 195lbs, the last time I weighed myself at least. I could have crept up a pound or two. OMG, 198 oh my! I never thought I'd be back in this neighborhood, but alas, here I am! I've been waiting to post until I had a few days under my belt. I didn't want any one day false starts. Like I've been doing for the past freaking year! "Today's the day I start abstaining! For fuckin sure this time!" Shea right!
Feels good to write again. Tonight was my wife's christmas party and I actually ate sensibly! What a freaking concept! Thank you God for giving me the strength to not share that lava cake with my wife! I kept looking at it! Debating! I didn't give it TOO much thought however! Thank god! I abstained and I'm thankful! I am just a little hungry right now, which is why I'm writing! I will most likely have some fruit. Even though it's 11:30pm and I could easily go to bed. I'm most likely going to have maybe a banana and some a bite or two of the raw chocolate treat I've paid $8 for from whole foods! Whatever! It is a serious treat for me! I just need to figure out how to make them myself. (All in good time!)
Keeping it real & grateful!
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