It's me! I'm back! I am still alive! The good news is I've been 100% raw all day today! Yahoo! I am tired however and don't know how long this post will be. A lot going on in my life in general. I am sober today and it feels really good! I plan on keeping this sobriety date! Its just a few days shy of my 1 year since I broke my abstinence with alchohol! Definitely a big deal! I'm so tired! I'm so tired of drinking and hiding my drinking and worrying about who's going to catch me and all the stuff that goes along with being an alcoholic with 4 + years of AA! It's not fun! I did have some fun...but mostly it was taking me away from real life! So more of my story to come...but for now I just wanted to post something....Again....I love writing my thoughts in a public forum such as this! So here it is! More to come! I should be 100% raw tomorrow as well. If I'm lucky I'll get to Bikram!
Namaste!
'
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Fuck the Rules
Yes...I guess I've tried lots of ideas and gimmiks to try and gain control of my addictions. I've come to the sad or, more importantly, liberating conclusion that I am powerless over everything in my life! I'm Especially powerless over food and alcohol!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
New Rules Needed
Yes, today is/was Oscar night and I knew I'd be going to a party so I decided not to have any rules! I did have some coffee today, so I'm pretty wired after not having any for a couple of days. This is how I roll! The caffeine buzz is more intense than if I were to have it daily! Certainly enjoyed my brew today! It was a beautiful day around here! I got to go to San Francisco for a few hours. I was at my customer's place and when I walked in, I could smell the aroma of coffee. Hmmmm.....I wasn't planning on having any, but when it was graciously offered, I accepted. Ahhhh...twas good to the last drop.
Unfortunately, I was unable to get to exercise today, but Bikram tomorrow for sure.
New Rules:
No Coffee for 45 days starting tomorrow!
Start 30 day Bikram challenge tomorrow!
Eat only unrefined, unprocessed, whole foods for 45 days starting tomorrow
I think this is a good set of rules to live by for the next 30 - 45 days. My goal is to drop at least 10 lbs for starters. Ultimately, my long term goal is to be in the low 180's. I'm currently at 202 lbs. I'm very tired of the extra weight I've been holding onto for months. In addition to losing weight, I'd like to get my body back to optimum homeostasis. I'm tired of the flareups that I've had the last several weeks; both knees, my right shoulder, last night the top of my right foot. Auto-immune disease! Fuck that! I need to start testing my food/flare up theory. And so this set of new rules will be a good step in the right direction!
Intake:
1 quart of spring water
1 quart of grapefruit/spring water juice
1 venti coffee
1 1/2 c of coffee
1 banana
couple of cups of soda
random fingerfoods at party
Ok...I'll check in tomorrow and update then!
--Cheers
Unfortunately, I was unable to get to exercise today, but Bikram tomorrow for sure.
New Rules:
No Coffee for 45 days starting tomorrow!
Start 30 day Bikram challenge tomorrow!
Eat only unrefined, unprocessed, whole foods for 45 days starting tomorrow
I think this is a good set of rules to live by for the next 30 - 45 days. My goal is to drop at least 10 lbs for starters. Ultimately, my long term goal is to be in the low 180's. I'm currently at 202 lbs. I'm very tired of the extra weight I've been holding onto for months. In addition to losing weight, I'd like to get my body back to optimum homeostasis. I'm tired of the flareups that I've had the last several weeks; both knees, my right shoulder, last night the top of my right foot. Auto-immune disease! Fuck that! I need to start testing my food/flare up theory. And so this set of new rules will be a good step in the right direction!
Intake:
1 quart of spring water
1 quart of grapefruit/spring water juice
1 venti coffee
1 1/2 c of coffee
1 banana
couple of cups of soda
random fingerfoods at party
Ok...I'll check in tomorrow and update then!
--Cheers
Saturday, February 26, 2011
So Far So Good
I've done really well today and am very please with my intake overall. The day is about over and I'm about to make myself my late night snack treat. I had this last night and it really hit the spot and have been looking forward to it since about 6pm. My creation is sliced bananas in a bowl, topped with honey, add granola, 3/4c of yogurt and thawed blueberries from the freezer. So yummy!
Intake:
1 quart of water
1 apple
handful of raw almonds
1 orange
steamed asparagus with feta and sauteed mushrooms
1 hard boiled egg
2 quarts of green smoothy (mixed with 50% green juice)
banana yogurt treat
I was struggling earlier. I was craving more cooked food. I listened to and watched some inspirational videos and talks from my favorite raw food peeps. I love listening to Daniel Vitalis, David Wolfe, Anthony Anderson, Jason Wrobrel, Patrick Tempone, and the host of Natural News. I'm so glad I got through today. I didn't write down any New Rules earlier, so that gave me an opening to eat bad things, but I'm tired of it. I'm ready to change! Writing helps!
Intake:
1 quart of water
1 apple
handful of raw almonds
1 orange
steamed asparagus with feta and sauteed mushrooms
1 hard boiled egg
2 quarts of green smoothy (mixed with 50% green juice)
banana yogurt treat
I was struggling earlier. I was craving more cooked food. I listened to and watched some inspirational videos and talks from my favorite raw food peeps. I love listening to Daniel Vitalis, David Wolfe, Anthony Anderson, Jason Wrobrel, Patrick Tempone, and the host of Natural News. I'm so glad I got through today. I didn't write down any New Rules earlier, so that gave me an opening to eat bad things, but I'm tired of it. I'm ready to change! Writing helps!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Terrible Eating day
Exercise: Bikram Yoga
Intake yesterday: (do I dare, report!)
1 serving chicken terriyake from trader joes
1 peanut butter choc chip cookie
1 apple turnover
1 choc cover donut
1.75 pieces of cheese pizza
1 bag of lays barbecue chips
1 bowl of cereal (cocoa puffs)
1/4 piece of cinnabun
1/2 bowl of soup
2 quarts of water
1 quart of green juice/smoothy
OMG...that's a lot of crap, I know. Not good! Good thing today is a new day and I get to start over...My intention is to start living my ideals and values more consistently. I keep thinking that I can do this on my own...without the help of Overeaters Anonymous! Is it my ego that tells me that we can do it? I so want to start living my life with intention and purpose....I feel like I'm straying too far from where I want to go and to where I've been! I feel better when my diet is more clean!
I've been playing around with a new idea I'm calling New Rules! The rule of New Rules is for me to start living by the New Rule that follows the rule. i.e., New Rule: No coffee today or No coffee for 3 days...then follow it to the letter...No Matter What!! I guess I can put the rule here vs. my hard copy journal. I like writing, but typing is so much more fluid and easier for me to do! Not to mention its more convenient. So what's my New Rule for today?
OK "Let's do THiS:
New Rule:
No processed crap! Eat only raw unprocessed foods just for today. NO MATTER WHAT!
I plan to have one more cup of coffee and that will be it as far as! I'll update my progress later today.
So, the deal is, I have to do this. New Rules needs to have meaning in my life! Otherwise, I have to admit I really don't have control! So...we will see!
12:32am, Update:
So this is great, so far so good! Actually, now that I've re-read the post, I realize that I did eat something cooked tonight. I thought I was going to be 100% raw, but that's ok though. At least it was whole food. I'm pretty sure they were lentels, with sauteed veggies! No problemo! It's exactly right now-->this time of night that gets me every time! Every f'n time lately! I get an urge to eat this late in the evening. It's been very frustrating doing it over and over and over again.
I am sleepy now...just catching up on idol. Should have come home and read, but writing now is definitely new for me. I kinda like documenting! It feels good!
Intake:
1 venti coffee
1/2 cup of coffee
1 apple
1 quart of orange juice
1 quart of juice/smoothy
handful of raw almonds
1 quart of sierra nevada
3 cups of lentels (amy gave me a second helping....it was actually pretty good)
Intake yesterday: (do I dare, report!)
1 serving chicken terriyake from trader joes
1 peanut butter choc chip cookie
1 apple turnover
1 choc cover donut
1.75 pieces of cheese pizza
1 bag of lays barbecue chips
1 bowl of cereal (cocoa puffs)
1/4 piece of cinnabun
1/2 bowl of soup
2 quarts of water
1 quart of green juice/smoothy
OMG...that's a lot of crap, I know. Not good! Good thing today is a new day and I get to start over...My intention is to start living my ideals and values more consistently. I keep thinking that I can do this on my own...without the help of Overeaters Anonymous! Is it my ego that tells me that we can do it? I so want to start living my life with intention and purpose....I feel like I'm straying too far from where I want to go and to where I've been! I feel better when my diet is more clean!
I've been playing around with a new idea I'm calling New Rules! The rule of New Rules is for me to start living by the New Rule that follows the rule. i.e., New Rule: No coffee today or No coffee for 3 days...then follow it to the letter...No Matter What!! I guess I can put the rule here vs. my hard copy journal. I like writing, but typing is so much more fluid and easier for me to do! Not to mention its more convenient. So what's my New Rule for today?
OK "Let's do THiS:
New Rule:
No processed crap! Eat only raw unprocessed foods just for today. NO MATTER WHAT!
I plan to have one more cup of coffee and that will be it as far as! I'll update my progress later today.
So, the deal is, I have to do this. New Rules needs to have meaning in my life! Otherwise, I have to admit I really don't have control! So...we will see!
12:32am, Update:
So this is great, so far so good! Actually, now that I've re-read the post, I realize that I did eat something cooked tonight. I thought I was going to be 100% raw, but that's ok though. At least it was whole food. I'm pretty sure they were lentels, with sauteed veggies! No problemo! It's exactly right now-->this time of night that gets me every time! Every f'n time lately! I get an urge to eat this late in the evening. It's been very frustrating doing it over and over and over again.
I am sleepy now...just catching up on idol. Should have come home and read, but writing now is definitely new for me. I kinda like documenting! It feels good!
Intake:
1 venti coffee
1/2 cup of coffee
1 apple
1 quart of orange juice
1 quart of juice/smoothy
handful of raw almonds
1 quart of sierra nevada
3 cups of lentels (amy gave me a second helping....it was actually pretty good)
Monday, February 21, 2011
New Year...New Aspirations
I'm back. Yes...it's me again. Back with more content for my blog! I know it's not much, but it is mine and I do like to write. Therefore, I shall write.
It's already February and this month is almost over with as well...Writing this late does make me sleepy. I suppose that's why I've decided to write now..I've did have some coffee this morning and i'm not too too tired...but as I sit her and type, i am feeling the pillow calling to me...this is a good thing
The no coffee new years resolution lasted approximately 14 days. 14 days is the longest i've gone without it for at least 3 years now. Not sure why it's such a struggle for me. I actually do know, but choose to believe that I will be able to drop the caffeine intake when I decide to. Ooooo, can it really be done. My intent is to write in my journal about this issue and others that have been a pain in my side for quite some time now. More on that issue and others later.
As always, it feels good to write. I plan on writing more and it starts tonight. ;-)
Did see the Justin Beber movie tonight. We all really liked it! I have a new appreciation for that kid! What a story!
Intake today:
3 cups of coffee (after a 2 day break)
1 apple
2 oranges
2 quarts of green smoothy
handful of almonds
2 slices of pizza (dinner)
some popcorn & sips of vitamin water
2 quarts of springwater
bowl of cereal (wheat chex) childhood favorite
That's it...pretty light day of eating considering. Tomorrow is a new day. I plan to drink more of my green juice and if I'm lucky abstain from cooked food tomorrow...I plan on going to Bikram Yoga tomorrow evening, so I will definitely be eating light prior to taking the class. No coffee tomorrow as welll. Will try and update more frequently for my own sake.
Namaste
It's already February and this month is almost over with as well...Writing this late does make me sleepy. I suppose that's why I've decided to write now..I've did have some coffee this morning and i'm not too too tired...but as I sit her and type, i am feeling the pillow calling to me...this is a good thing
The no coffee new years resolution lasted approximately 14 days. 14 days is the longest i've gone without it for at least 3 years now. Not sure why it's such a struggle for me. I actually do know, but choose to believe that I will be able to drop the caffeine intake when I decide to. Ooooo, can it really be done. My intent is to write in my journal about this issue and others that have been a pain in my side for quite some time now. More on that issue and others later.
As always, it feels good to write. I plan on writing more and it starts tonight. ;-)
Did see the Justin Beber movie tonight. We all really liked it! I have a new appreciation for that kid! What a story!
Intake today:
3 cups of coffee (after a 2 day break)
1 apple
2 oranges
2 quarts of green smoothy
handful of almonds
2 slices of pizza (dinner)
some popcorn & sips of vitamin water
2 quarts of springwater
bowl of cereal (wheat chex) childhood favorite
That's it...pretty light day of eating considering. Tomorrow is a new day. I plan to drink more of my green juice and if I'm lucky abstain from cooked food tomorrow...I plan on going to Bikram Yoga tomorrow evening, so I will definitely be eating light prior to taking the class. No coffee tomorrow as welll. Will try and update more frequently for my own sake.
Namaste
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Fasting, Recovery, and Bikram Yoga...Oh my..
So I did a 4 day fast recently and am so stoked for the energy and willpower to pull it off. Maybe I should say God Power instead of willpower. Thank you God for the power to juice fast for 4 (almost 5) days! It felt so good to take a break from eating. I detoxed a little bit. Shed a few pounds, of course! Bonus! Got some great sleep! Did not disturb my wife's sleep by snoring. Apparently, when I eat cleaner and I'm less fat, I tend not to snore! Lately, I've been snoring quite a bit! Anyway...not really sure how to recap since my last post, but thought I'd post something to get some thoughts out of my head!
Went to a very good meeting tonight! I thought it was going to be a dry meeting because I sized up the speaker based on his looks! Terrible right! I hate when I do that! Part of me wanted to turn around when I noticed the chair person. So glad I stayed. I always get something out of every meeting I go to!
The topic was on Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it!
I didn't get a chance to share! I haven't really given step 10 a good look lately, but realized tonight that it is very much engrained in my daily life! I'm constantly taking my inventory and am very aware of the actions I need to take in order to help me live happy, joyous, and free! Now, whether or not I take the action is a very different story! Lately, however, I've been taking a lot of action in many areas of my life that I feel is helping to make me a better human being.
List of actions:
Not sure where I'm going now...I'm tired of looking at the screen.
I should mention that I regret drinking the coffee today. I should have listened to my inner self that said, don't do it! But hopefully I learned that my body doesn't respond well to it any longer. I do not plan on drinking any tomorrow or the day after. I pray that I stay away from it! It's a drug that my body and mind crave and deep down I know that I can't drink it without having ill effects! I just felt amped and edgey. Oh well...progress not perfection! Thank god tomorrow is a new day.
Bikram was very tough this morning. Actually, this was the toughest class I've had since I started. I'm not really sure what it was, but I'm just thankful that I went and got through the practice! I'm pretty sure I'll go tomorrow.
Anyway...
--Namaste
Went to a very good meeting tonight! I thought it was going to be a dry meeting because I sized up the speaker based on his looks! Terrible right! I hate when I do that! Part of me wanted to turn around when I noticed the chair person. So glad I stayed. I always get something out of every meeting I go to!
The topic was on Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it!
I didn't get a chance to share! I haven't really given step 10 a good look lately, but realized tonight that it is very much engrained in my daily life! I'm constantly taking my inventory and am very aware of the actions I need to take in order to help me live happy, joyous, and free! Now, whether or not I take the action is a very different story! Lately, however, I've been taking a lot of action in many areas of my life that I feel is helping to make me a better human being.
List of actions:
- I'm sober today
- Got to a meeting tonight
- Asked someone to sponsor me
- Made an appointment with my dentist
- Recently sought counsel of a nutritionist
- Started to see my therapist more regularly
- Showing up for work on time
- Present for my children and wife
- Starting to attend Bikram Yoga classes regularly
Not sure where I'm going now...I'm tired of looking at the screen.
I should mention that I regret drinking the coffee today. I should have listened to my inner self that said, don't do it! But hopefully I learned that my body doesn't respond well to it any longer. I do not plan on drinking any tomorrow or the day after. I pray that I stay away from it! It's a drug that my body and mind crave and deep down I know that I can't drink it without having ill effects! I just felt amped and edgey. Oh well...progress not perfection! Thank god tomorrow is a new day.
Bikram was very tough this morning. Actually, this was the toughest class I've had since I started. I'm not really sure what it was, but I'm just thankful that I went and got through the practice! I'm pretty sure I'll go tomorrow.
Anyway...
--Namaste
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