Until I can get consistent in my raw food eating, I'm going to start posting to a place that I'm more comfortable sharing the details of my struggles with food and other addictions! I will be back!!
You can find me here more regularly!
Thanks for checking in!! ;-)
Love,
Dougie Fresh
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Long Day...abstinent... and Raw
Today was a long travel day for me. I managed to stay abstinent from processed sugar, refined flour, and starches--Feels really good. I read quite a bit from 12 steps to raw food by Victoria Buetenko! She's so awesome. I loved her first book and love this book even more.
Upate: 10/19/08 7:45am
So insidious this disease is! Is it really a disease like AA and OA claim it to be! A disease of the mind and a spiritual malady, that when I take that first bite of whatever it is I deemed to be abstinent from, I cannot control how much I'm going to eat! For me, I have a low pain threshold, so it doesn't take much, but I still feel the same way afterward. Bummed, remorseful, self pity.
My father-in-law came to visit today and brought some of his famous latvian rye bread, "my favorite"! I wasn't planning on eating any. But then came a thought that triggered something inside my head that said, "it'd probably be ok if you just had one tiny slice". I had two! I had it just before we went out to dinner. I told myself earlier that I was definitely just going to have a green salad with lemon juice, no matter where we went to eat! But that triggered thought eventually said that it was ok to have the bread and that I'd probably be able to control my intake tonight, so go ahead and eat, whatever, one last time! Famous last words!
Insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results! I'm so fucked up! Oh well! I did it again! I over ate at dinner then at home late in the eve, then paid for it this morning. It was hard to get up. I felt slightly nauseous! But today was another day to start a new! And I did just that! I've been 100% raw and feel great for doing so!
I made a rather large salad tonight after the meeting! I was chuckling to myself, that I've never overate on a salad! I was a big salad and I was really trying to finish it, but couldn't! I was in San Francisco today and went to Cafe Gratitude for the first time! It was such a cool place! I had a bowl of coconut curry soup and a bagel with "lox" to go! I'm well on my way to a new start! I'm hopeful I won't have anymore slips.
I'm really going to try and make being abstinent as important as not drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana! I'm an addict and food fucks with my sobriety!! Cooked food is just another drug for me and I know it! I may use the OA meetings as a tool as well as trying to get reconnected with other raw foodies!
Until next time... Grateful Doug
Upate: 10/19/08 7:45am
So insidious this disease is! Is it really a disease like AA and OA claim it to be! A disease of the mind and a spiritual malady, that when I take that first bite of whatever it is I deemed to be abstinent from, I cannot control how much I'm going to eat! For me, I have a low pain threshold, so it doesn't take much, but I still feel the same way afterward. Bummed, remorseful, self pity.
My father-in-law came to visit today and brought some of his famous latvian rye bread, "my favorite"! I wasn't planning on eating any. But then came a thought that triggered something inside my head that said, "it'd probably be ok if you just had one tiny slice". I had two! I had it just before we went out to dinner. I told myself earlier that I was definitely just going to have a green salad with lemon juice, no matter where we went to eat! But that triggered thought eventually said that it was ok to have the bread and that I'd probably be able to control my intake tonight, so go ahead and eat, whatever, one last time! Famous last words!
Insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results! I'm so fucked up! Oh well! I did it again! I over ate at dinner then at home late in the eve, then paid for it this morning. It was hard to get up. I felt slightly nauseous! But today was another day to start a new! And I did just that! I've been 100% raw and feel great for doing so!
I made a rather large salad tonight after the meeting! I was chuckling to myself, that I've never overate on a salad! I was a big salad and I was really trying to finish it, but couldn't! I was in San Francisco today and went to Cafe Gratitude for the first time! It was such a cool place! I had a bowl of coconut curry soup and a bagel with "lox" to go! I'm well on my way to a new start! I'm hopeful I won't have anymore slips.
I'm really going to try and make being abstinent as important as not drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana! I'm an addict and food fucks with my sobriety!! Cooked food is just another drug for me and I know it! I may use the OA meetings as a tool as well as trying to get reconnected with other raw foodies!
Until next time... Grateful Doug
Thursday, October 16, 2008
This is it...REALLY IT
So, it's 2:20am EST and I've had coffee, fast food, soda, and a piece of lemon bread! THIS IS IT!!! I've fucking had it! I'm so tired of being sick and tired! I'm so mad, and energized at the same time. I've got to post now! I've had shame, guilt, remorse, and overall sadness the last several days and weeks! I've been on such a roller coaster these past several months, it's finally time for me to get off and do what I really want to do: put a halt to my compulsive eating! I really am a true addict in every sense of the word. And of multiple substances. Ever since I got sober from alcohol and marijuana, other forms of addictive compulsive behaviors have reared there ugly heads. I guess it REALLY is a good thing! In the sense that I appreciate the journey! I'm so glad that I know the truth and know exactly what to do! My ego is a little pissed that I've surrendered! Fuck it! I heard it so eloquently put recently, "A defeat of the ego is a Victory for the soul!" I am powerless! I'm powerless over food! I'm powerless over cooked food especially! I am not a normal eater! I am not a normal drinker! I cannot have just one of almost anything!
I'm actually excited! I'm a little fearful, but a lot excited! I'm ready to have more energy! I'm ready to be a better Dad and Husband! I'm looking forward to not obsessing about what I'm going to have for dinner or to have that last piece of something! I'm ready to have better health! I'm so ready for a new start! Please god help me! I'm so grateful for my life and all of the my raw heros!
I should really change the title of this blog to My great BIG LIFE Adventure! I'm sure I'll be writing more! I love to write! So much going on in my life right now. I need the extra energy!
Love to all!
I'm actually excited! I'm a little fearful, but a lot excited! I'm ready to have more energy! I'm ready to be a better Dad and Husband! I'm looking forward to not obsessing about what I'm going to have for dinner or to have that last piece of something! I'm ready to have better health! I'm so ready for a new start! Please god help me! I'm so grateful for my life and all of the my raw heros!
I should really change the title of this blog to My great BIG LIFE Adventure! I'm sure I'll be writing more! I love to write! So much going on in my life right now. I need the extra energy!
Love to all!
Monday, October 6, 2008
I'm so crazy...
I ended up fasting for 6 days! It was really nice to go that long! I didn't really set any goals and I guess I should have in retrospect. I was just testing the road again after such a very long break.
I'm such a cooked food junkie! It is so hard to get away from it...especially when the family is not on the same page as I am. My wife, has come a long way in a short amount of time! She recently read the book, skinny bitch and went vegan overnight! It was awesome to see her get it! I guess she was finally ready.
My plan is to make more juice today and stay 100% raw, all day! We'll see if I make it! I ALWAYS have big plans for the day ahead only to falter by evening!! Maybe I'll pick up the book 12 Steps to Raw foods!
I'm such a cooked food junkie! It is so hard to get away from it...especially when the family is not on the same page as I am. My wife, has come a long way in a short amount of time! She recently read the book, skinny bitch and went vegan overnight! It was awesome to see her get it! I guess she was finally ready.
My plan is to make more juice today and stay 100% raw, all day! We'll see if I make it! I ALWAYS have big plans for the day ahead only to falter by evening!! Maybe I'll pick up the book 12 Steps to Raw foods!
Monday, September 22, 2008
I'm baaaack.... First Day
Not sure where to begin except that I soo want to fast and detox. I've decided to re commit to writing and communicating my feelings and experiences with my daily life and with my food. Actually, I've been so busy lately that I'm not sure that I'll be able to post daily, but will write as much as I can. I love writing and communicating. I miss reading and keeping up with my favorite bloggers. Feels good to be back and part of this small but growing community of raw bloggers....
But first I will fast....I need to fast to reset my palate. Today is the first day of at least 30 maybe 60 and possibly 90. Yes indeedy! I'd love to finally make the full 90! We'll see....done by mid December! Wow! What a goal! I know I can do it!! I just need to figure out the family/social dynamics part of fasting and make sure everyone is on board with me... We'll see...so far my wife thinks I'm fasting for a "few days"...
Day 2
10:30pm
I made it through day 2! Felt like a breeze, kind of! I tried to keep my intake up quite a bit, I'm sure it helped. Anyhow...it feels great to be fasting again. I found one blogger who's on day 46ish...it'll be fun to follow a fellow feaster/faster.
I've got a super busy day tomorrow! I'll be up and adam quite early and going, going, going till at least 10pmish...I recently started my own business and it has really revealed to me what kind of energy/time drain it takes to run a business--solo--for the most part! Oh well...it's fun...hopefully it will pay off in the long run!
I was counting all of the days that I fasted this year and it was somewhere around 40 days. All of the fasting I did this year was wasted on my poor eating over the summer! I'm soo ready to detox and reset my clock once and for all. I really need to "be the change I wish to see in the world"! I feel like this is finally it! My time is now! I'm soooo ready to do this!
Until tomorrow...Good night
But first I will fast....I need to fast to reset my palate. Today is the first day of at least 30 maybe 60 and possibly 90. Yes indeedy! I'd love to finally make the full 90! We'll see....done by mid December! Wow! What a goal! I know I can do it!! I just need to figure out the family/social dynamics part of fasting and make sure everyone is on board with me... We'll see...so far my wife thinks I'm fasting for a "few days"...
Day 2
10:30pm
I made it through day 2! Felt like a breeze, kind of! I tried to keep my intake up quite a bit, I'm sure it helped. Anyhow...it feels great to be fasting again. I found one blogger who's on day 46ish...it'll be fun to follow a fellow feaster/faster.
I've got a super busy day tomorrow! I'll be up and adam quite early and going, going, going till at least 10pmish...I recently started my own business and it has really revealed to me what kind of energy/time drain it takes to run a business--solo--for the most part! Oh well...it's fun...hopefully it will pay off in the long run!
I was counting all of the days that I fasted this year and it was somewhere around 40 days. All of the fasting I did this year was wasted on my poor eating over the summer! I'm soo ready to detox and reset my clock once and for all. I really need to "be the change I wish to see in the world"! I feel like this is finally it! My time is now! I'm soooo ready to do this!
Until tomorrow...Good night
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Day 32
Day 32
11:25am
Too pooped to write last night. I started getting tired around 2pmish. I got to bed early and had a well rested nights sleep. I guess my body is requiring rest; hopefully to heal and detox. I just wish I had more energy to do more stuff in the evenings when I get home from work. I assumed I'd start having more increased energy by now on this feast. Oh well. I'm sure the increased energy will come after I start back on solids.
I used to have these grand ambitions about what I was going to do later, only to decide to eat cooked food, whatever it was, then crash out! This is ONE of the things I want to change. After the kids go to bed, by 8:30pm, I could totally go to the gym and work out, go for a sauna, or to the climbing gym, do some yoga, read and or take Roxy for a walk!! I'm looking forward to being productive with my increased energy!
I actually contemplated taking a class or 2. The semester started January 28th, but I didn't want to not have the energy to read and study. This feasting takes so much time, energy, not to mention the monetary cost. I feel it's an investment in my health as well as my family's health! (Leading by example!) My kids are always asking me if this or that is "healthy"! ;-)
Did I mention that my mother-in-law is back on the fast/feast with me. She's doing a modified version. Since she's a diabetic, she's doing mostly greens juices and is also doing green smoothies. So far so good. I think she's on like day 10 now. I can tell her energy level is increasing since she started taking Roxy for a walk in the mornings. She's got at least 100lbs to shed. I'm hoping she stays with this for a while. I know I'm a motivator since I've got so much time under my belt already.
I trekked out to the elephant pharmacy last night and picked up some chanca peidra! Yeah! I'm stoked to continue with cleansing my liver. I had such a great experience when I did the Amazing Liver and Gallbladder flush, I wanted to continue until the stones are flushed out. Then I read that the chanca piedra is much more gentler, and the fact that I don't have to consume the epson salts and water is a plus. The great experience I'm referring to
Day 33
11:29am
Thought I'd comment real quick about how good I'm feeling right now. OMG, what a difference a day makes! I think I should really be saying is what a difference an enema make! I was unable to do an enema for the last day or so. I got a chance to do one last night and again this morning! My energy level is really I and I have an immense feeling of gratitude for this day, for this feast, for the love of my family, for the love of this amazing juice feasting and raw community! I want to keep going! I want to make it to day 92! I think I can, I think I can....
Day 34 update coming soon...
11:25am
Too pooped to write last night. I started getting tired around 2pmish. I got to bed early and had a well rested nights sleep. I guess my body is requiring rest; hopefully to heal and detox. I just wish I had more energy to do more stuff in the evenings when I get home from work. I assumed I'd start having more increased energy by now on this feast. Oh well. I'm sure the increased energy will come after I start back on solids.
I used to have these grand ambitions about what I was going to do later, only to decide to eat cooked food, whatever it was, then crash out! This is ONE of the things I want to change. After the kids go to bed, by 8:30pm, I could totally go to the gym and work out, go for a sauna, or to the climbing gym, do some yoga, read and or take Roxy for a walk!! I'm looking forward to being productive with my increased energy!
I actually contemplated taking a class or 2. The semester started January 28th, but I didn't want to not have the energy to read and study. This feasting takes so much time, energy, not to mention the monetary cost. I feel it's an investment in my health as well as my family's health! (Leading by example!) My kids are always asking me if this or that is "healthy"! ;-)
Did I mention that my mother-in-law is back on the fast/feast with me. She's doing a modified version. Since she's a diabetic, she's doing mostly greens juices and is also doing green smoothies. So far so good. I think she's on like day 10 now. I can tell her energy level is increasing since she started taking Roxy for a walk in the mornings. She's got at least 100lbs to shed. I'm hoping she stays with this for a while. I know I'm a motivator since I've got so much time under my belt already.
I trekked out to the elephant pharmacy last night and picked up some chanca peidra! Yeah! I'm stoked to continue with cleansing my liver. I had such a great experience when I did the Amazing Liver and Gallbladder flush, I wanted to continue until the stones are flushed out. Then I read that the chanca piedra is much more gentler, and the fact that I don't have to consume the epson salts and water is a plus. The great experience I'm referring to
Day 33
11:29am
Thought I'd comment real quick about how good I'm feeling right now. OMG, what a difference a day makes! I think I should really be saying is what a difference an enema make! I was unable to do an enema for the last day or so. I got a chance to do one last night and again this morning! My energy level is really I and I have an immense feeling of gratitude for this day, for this feast, for the love of my family, for the love of this amazing juice feasting and raw community! I want to keep going! I want to make it to day 92! I think I can, I think I can....
Day 34 update coming soon...
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Day 30...Feeling pretty good
10:24pm
It's getting late, but I wanted to post a little something before I retire for the evening. I'm stoked to have made it this far! Well, after not too much consideration, I think it's a good time for me break my fast! I feel compelled to eat and will start with some Indian food...........................NOT!!! I'm totally joking and couldn't resist!
I have to say that I was just slightly disappointed to know that some fellow feasters we ready to end their juice feast! Actually, I'm more envious than anything else! The committee in my mind couldn't help but to contemplate whether we were ready as well to end our feast as well! I told them sternly, "HEEEEELLLLLL NOOOO!" I'm not ready! No, No, No! Not yet! As much as I want to get back to solid foods again, I feel like I can keep going a little while longer. How much longer? I'd like to get to 60 days! I'm going to shoot for 40 days and re-evaluate where I'm at! I know I can make another week!
I'm totally on cruise control right now. I'm so into my juice feasting routine; it's really not that hard to keep going at this point. Sure, I have my challenges and difficulties at times, but all I have to do to get through them is to try any, if not all, of the following: drink more juice; take a nap; take an enema; pray; meditate; go to a meeting; or just got to bed! ;-) So far so good!
I was going to write much more, but I'm really pooping out here! I will try and write earlier tomorrow! Until then....
Be well!
It's getting late, but I wanted to post a little something before I retire for the evening. I'm stoked to have made it this far! Well, after not too much consideration, I think it's a good time for me break my fast! I feel compelled to eat and will start with some Indian food...........................NOT!!! I'm totally joking and couldn't resist!
I have to say that I was just slightly disappointed to know that some fellow feasters we ready to end their juice feast! Actually, I'm more envious than anything else! The committee in my mind couldn't help but to contemplate whether we were ready as well to end our feast as well! I told them sternly, "HEEEEELLLLLL NOOOO!" I'm not ready! No, No, No! Not yet! As much as I want to get back to solid foods again, I feel like I can keep going a little while longer. How much longer? I'd like to get to 60 days! I'm going to shoot for 40 days and re-evaluate where I'm at! I know I can make another week!
I'm totally on cruise control right now. I'm so into my juice feasting routine; it's really not that hard to keep going at this point. Sure, I have my challenges and difficulties at times, but all I have to do to get through them is to try any, if not all, of the following: drink more juice; take a nap; take an enema; pray; meditate; go to a meeting; or just got to bed! ;-) So far so good!
I was going to write much more, but I'm really pooping out here! I will try and write earlier tomorrow! Until then....
Be well!
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