Day One
OK here I go! Ha ha...I just checked to see when I started my fast last year! It was one day earlier! Last year I did start on January 1st, but faltered on day 4!! I was out of town New Years Eve and was not in good place to start a proper juice fast as I had planned for the coming New Year! Now that I'm back in town, it's really pissing me off that I'm unable to make a successful start! Blogging works for me! Putting my intentions into visible text for everyone to see helps me gain momentum! I turned 41 on the 12/27/08! I'll be damned if I go another fucking year on this fucked up roller coaster! I'm fasting as of NOW and I refuse to look back--only forward! My last cooked food item I ate was a homemade chocolate chip cookie; made by "yours truly"!
Man o man...does it feel so good to officially start with my master plan--more details to come!! I am a cooked food addict!! I am really, really miserable right now!! Mostly, because I'm really got a few extra pounds that are starting to make me very uncomfortable!! FUCK THAT!! I'm ready to take control, with a little help from my higher power, which I choose to call GOD!!
I'll take pictures tomorrow! I must have gained 5-10 lbs since Thanksgiving!! Besides the weight I'm not happy with a few other areas of my life!! I want change and change is a coming!! It has to come! I've been praying for strength! I know I can do this! I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired! I've been doing the same thing over and over and over again and NOTHING has really changed for me!! I'm spent!! It's officially over!!
I will report back tomorrow!! If there is anybody out there that happens to read this, please leave me some words of encouragement! I need to get reconnected with the loving accepting raw food community!
It's late, I've got lots to say and hopefully as the fog lifts, I will start to make more sense and make good decisions on some really important issues that are coming up quickly in my life!! OMG!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Monday, December 1, 2008
New Journey Begins
Today, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm commencing my 90 day juice feast/fast! I've been eating like hell all year (off & on). I can't wait until the new year.
12/1/08 will be my sobriety date for cooked food. The last thing I ate last night was my wife's pumpkin pie. It was really good, but as I truly believe, cooked food is totally overrated. I'm a cooked food addict! I'm ready for change in my life.
Tons more news to tell later...gtg..
12/1/08 will be my sobriety date for cooked food. The last thing I ate last night was my wife's pumpkin pie. It was really good, but as I truly believe, cooked food is totally overrated. I'm a cooked food addict! I'm ready for change in my life.
Tons more news to tell later...gtg..
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
New spot for regular posts!
Until I can get consistent in my raw food eating, I'm going to start posting to a place that I'm more comfortable sharing the details of my struggles with food and other addictions! I will be back!!
You can find me here more regularly!
Thanks for checking in!! ;-)
Love,
Dougie Fresh
You can find me here more regularly!
Thanks for checking in!! ;-)
Love,
Dougie Fresh
Friday, October 17, 2008
Long Day...abstinent... and Raw
Today was a long travel day for me. I managed to stay abstinent from processed sugar, refined flour, and starches--Feels really good. I read quite a bit from 12 steps to raw food by Victoria Buetenko! She's so awesome. I loved her first book and love this book even more.
Upate: 10/19/08 7:45am
So insidious this disease is! Is it really a disease like AA and OA claim it to be! A disease of the mind and a spiritual malady, that when I take that first bite of whatever it is I deemed to be abstinent from, I cannot control how much I'm going to eat! For me, I have a low pain threshold, so it doesn't take much, but I still feel the same way afterward. Bummed, remorseful, self pity.
My father-in-law came to visit today and brought some of his famous latvian rye bread, "my favorite"! I wasn't planning on eating any. But then came a thought that triggered something inside my head that said, "it'd probably be ok if you just had one tiny slice". I had two! I had it just before we went out to dinner. I told myself earlier that I was definitely just going to have a green salad with lemon juice, no matter where we went to eat! But that triggered thought eventually said that it was ok to have the bread and that I'd probably be able to control my intake tonight, so go ahead and eat, whatever, one last time! Famous last words!
Insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results! I'm so fucked up! Oh well! I did it again! I over ate at dinner then at home late in the eve, then paid for it this morning. It was hard to get up. I felt slightly nauseous! But today was another day to start a new! And I did just that! I've been 100% raw and feel great for doing so!
I made a rather large salad tonight after the meeting! I was chuckling to myself, that I've never overate on a salad! I was a big salad and I was really trying to finish it, but couldn't! I was in San Francisco today and went to Cafe Gratitude for the first time! It was such a cool place! I had a bowl of coconut curry soup and a bagel with "lox" to go! I'm well on my way to a new start! I'm hopeful I won't have anymore slips.
I'm really going to try and make being abstinent as important as not drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana! I'm an addict and food fucks with my sobriety!! Cooked food is just another drug for me and I know it! I may use the OA meetings as a tool as well as trying to get reconnected with other raw foodies!
Until next time... Grateful Doug
Upate: 10/19/08 7:45am
So insidious this disease is! Is it really a disease like AA and OA claim it to be! A disease of the mind and a spiritual malady, that when I take that first bite of whatever it is I deemed to be abstinent from, I cannot control how much I'm going to eat! For me, I have a low pain threshold, so it doesn't take much, but I still feel the same way afterward. Bummed, remorseful, self pity.
My father-in-law came to visit today and brought some of his famous latvian rye bread, "my favorite"! I wasn't planning on eating any. But then came a thought that triggered something inside my head that said, "it'd probably be ok if you just had one tiny slice". I had two! I had it just before we went out to dinner. I told myself earlier that I was definitely just going to have a green salad with lemon juice, no matter where we went to eat! But that triggered thought eventually said that it was ok to have the bread and that I'd probably be able to control my intake tonight, so go ahead and eat, whatever, one last time! Famous last words!
Insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results! I'm so fucked up! Oh well! I did it again! I over ate at dinner then at home late in the eve, then paid for it this morning. It was hard to get up. I felt slightly nauseous! But today was another day to start a new! And I did just that! I've been 100% raw and feel great for doing so!
I made a rather large salad tonight after the meeting! I was chuckling to myself, that I've never overate on a salad! I was a big salad and I was really trying to finish it, but couldn't! I was in San Francisco today and went to Cafe Gratitude for the first time! It was such a cool place! I had a bowl of coconut curry soup and a bagel with "lox" to go! I'm well on my way to a new start! I'm hopeful I won't have anymore slips.
I'm really going to try and make being abstinent as important as not drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana! I'm an addict and food fucks with my sobriety!! Cooked food is just another drug for me and I know it! I may use the OA meetings as a tool as well as trying to get reconnected with other raw foodies!
Until next time... Grateful Doug
Thursday, October 16, 2008
This is it...REALLY IT
So, it's 2:20am EST and I've had coffee, fast food, soda, and a piece of lemon bread! THIS IS IT!!! I've fucking had it! I'm so tired of being sick and tired! I'm so mad, and energized at the same time. I've got to post now! I've had shame, guilt, remorse, and overall sadness the last several days and weeks! I've been on such a roller coaster these past several months, it's finally time for me to get off and do what I really want to do: put a halt to my compulsive eating! I really am a true addict in every sense of the word. And of multiple substances. Ever since I got sober from alcohol and marijuana, other forms of addictive compulsive behaviors have reared there ugly heads. I guess it REALLY is a good thing! In the sense that I appreciate the journey! I'm so glad that I know the truth and know exactly what to do! My ego is a little pissed that I've surrendered! Fuck it! I heard it so eloquently put recently, "A defeat of the ego is a Victory for the soul!" I am powerless! I'm powerless over food! I'm powerless over cooked food especially! I am not a normal eater! I am not a normal drinker! I cannot have just one of almost anything!
I'm actually excited! I'm a little fearful, but a lot excited! I'm ready to have more energy! I'm ready to be a better Dad and Husband! I'm looking forward to not obsessing about what I'm going to have for dinner or to have that last piece of something! I'm ready to have better health! I'm so ready for a new start! Please god help me! I'm so grateful for my life and all of the my raw heros!
I should really change the title of this blog to My great BIG LIFE Adventure! I'm sure I'll be writing more! I love to write! So much going on in my life right now. I need the extra energy!
Love to all!
I'm actually excited! I'm a little fearful, but a lot excited! I'm ready to have more energy! I'm ready to be a better Dad and Husband! I'm looking forward to not obsessing about what I'm going to have for dinner or to have that last piece of something! I'm ready to have better health! I'm so ready for a new start! Please god help me! I'm so grateful for my life and all of the my raw heros!
I should really change the title of this blog to My great BIG LIFE Adventure! I'm sure I'll be writing more! I love to write! So much going on in my life right now. I need the extra energy!
Love to all!
Monday, October 6, 2008
I'm so crazy...
I ended up fasting for 6 days! It was really nice to go that long! I didn't really set any goals and I guess I should have in retrospect. I was just testing the road again after such a very long break.
I'm such a cooked food junkie! It is so hard to get away from it...especially when the family is not on the same page as I am. My wife, has come a long way in a short amount of time! She recently read the book, skinny bitch and went vegan overnight! It was awesome to see her get it! I guess she was finally ready.
My plan is to make more juice today and stay 100% raw, all day! We'll see if I make it! I ALWAYS have big plans for the day ahead only to falter by evening!! Maybe I'll pick up the book 12 Steps to Raw foods!
I'm such a cooked food junkie! It is so hard to get away from it...especially when the family is not on the same page as I am. My wife, has come a long way in a short amount of time! She recently read the book, skinny bitch and went vegan overnight! It was awesome to see her get it! I guess she was finally ready.
My plan is to make more juice today and stay 100% raw, all day! We'll see if I make it! I ALWAYS have big plans for the day ahead only to falter by evening!! Maybe I'll pick up the book 12 Steps to Raw foods!
Monday, September 22, 2008
I'm baaaack.... First Day
Not sure where to begin except that I soo want to fast and detox. I've decided to re commit to writing and communicating my feelings and experiences with my daily life and with my food. Actually, I've been so busy lately that I'm not sure that I'll be able to post daily, but will write as much as I can. I love writing and communicating. I miss reading and keeping up with my favorite bloggers. Feels good to be back and part of this small but growing community of raw bloggers....
But first I will fast....I need to fast to reset my palate. Today is the first day of at least 30 maybe 60 and possibly 90. Yes indeedy! I'd love to finally make the full 90! We'll see....done by mid December! Wow! What a goal! I know I can do it!! I just need to figure out the family/social dynamics part of fasting and make sure everyone is on board with me... We'll see...so far my wife thinks I'm fasting for a "few days"...
Day 2
10:30pm
I made it through day 2! Felt like a breeze, kind of! I tried to keep my intake up quite a bit, I'm sure it helped. Anyhow...it feels great to be fasting again. I found one blogger who's on day 46ish...it'll be fun to follow a fellow feaster/faster.
I've got a super busy day tomorrow! I'll be up and adam quite early and going, going, going till at least 10pmish...I recently started my own business and it has really revealed to me what kind of energy/time drain it takes to run a business--solo--for the most part! Oh well...it's fun...hopefully it will pay off in the long run!
I was counting all of the days that I fasted this year and it was somewhere around 40 days. All of the fasting I did this year was wasted on my poor eating over the summer! I'm soo ready to detox and reset my clock once and for all. I really need to "be the change I wish to see in the world"! I feel like this is finally it! My time is now! I'm soooo ready to do this!
Until tomorrow...Good night
But first I will fast....I need to fast to reset my palate. Today is the first day of at least 30 maybe 60 and possibly 90. Yes indeedy! I'd love to finally make the full 90! We'll see....done by mid December! Wow! What a goal! I know I can do it!! I just need to figure out the family/social dynamics part of fasting and make sure everyone is on board with me... We'll see...so far my wife thinks I'm fasting for a "few days"...
Day 2
10:30pm
I made it through day 2! Felt like a breeze, kind of! I tried to keep my intake up quite a bit, I'm sure it helped. Anyhow...it feels great to be fasting again. I found one blogger who's on day 46ish...it'll be fun to follow a fellow feaster/faster.
I've got a super busy day tomorrow! I'll be up and adam quite early and going, going, going till at least 10pmish...I recently started my own business and it has really revealed to me what kind of energy/time drain it takes to run a business--solo--for the most part! Oh well...it's fun...hopefully it will pay off in the long run!
I was counting all of the days that I fasted this year and it was somewhere around 40 days. All of the fasting I did this year was wasted on my poor eating over the summer! I'm soo ready to detox and reset my clock once and for all. I really need to "be the change I wish to see in the world"! I feel like this is finally it! My time is now! I'm soooo ready to do this!
Until tomorrow...Good night
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